Okay so back to me and the Kid. About six months ago I made a dedicated decision to take my son to an Afrocentric drum class. Anybody who knows me will tell you I am about that Afrocentric life and can hear the beat of a drum from a mile away. I had it all planned, the kid was going to play for Backyard Band one day, or better yet, he would be like the world renowned Tito Puente.
I totally committed to this dream for him, trucking half way across town once a week to embark on his drumming greatness. I had it all set; with visions of his first drum recitals and African chants he would learn. I have been in love with percussion since I was a kid and saw Sheila E. perform the Glamorous Life. After all, she was my very first girl crush, but we’ll come back to that in another post.
About 2 months into the drum class, I realized that while other kids were dedicated to learning drum patterns and awaiting their solo time to shine. My kid so help his rhythm-less soul, was more interested in dancing in the opposing mirror in the room and acting out various Disney movies. I grew immediately, frustrated and felt slightly embarrassed. I remember specifically one ride home, telling him all about the history of Marcus Garvey and his philosophies and the kid said to me “mommy, could Marcus Garvey fly, because Batman can fly”. Needless to say, this is not what “I” had planned for him; this was not what “I” envisioned.
Then one day while he was pretending to be Simba (again) and acting out the entire scene from the Lion King, I decided to ROAR BACK at him. I decided to see him for who he was…. I decided to be lion too. What the hell, I grabbed a cape and decided to be Batgirl. This took the pressure off us both.
For the first time, I decided to see him not for the drummer I hoped and prayed for him to be but the roaring lion he really was. I let up on projecting my images on him and let him shine in his own light. Who was I to dim his light, who was I to take that from him? I needed to love him as he was and in his entirety.
So the more I cultivate the Love is Project , the more I realize I have to get over myself and everything I thought I knew about love, the kid has taught me that love and I mean true love is light and offering your loved ones acceptance so that they may shine the way that God has intended.