I’ve sat down a million times to write what I thought would be an awesome first post for B. Positive. I kept coming up blank, and all I could think of was how tired I am. Between the wife thing, the mothering thing, homeschooling, working two jobs, autism meltdowns, giving, serving, fixing... I’M DONE. Spent. Depleted. Nothing. Left. I know it’s not pretty. It’s not super inspiring. But it’s real. So I’m going to talk to you all while I encourage my dag on self in the process.
Mom, you are enough. He hears your prayers. He sees your selfless and endless giving. Your kids love and adore you. Your husband appreciates you more than you know. Someone is watching you, and they are encouraged. YOU ARE AMAZING.
But take a minute to take care of you. Wear your waist beads and remember your femininity. Go enjoy that self-indulgent mani pedi without apology. And what the heck, throw in that sugar scrub and design on your big toe. Close the door to your pantry and eat the last chocolate donut without giving a single crumb to your kids. Say no to the friend who asks for a favor on your only day that month not occupied by work, playdates or soccer games. Be the “bad friend” for once… Shoot do it twice. Go ahead and secure your spot in her vague “people are shady” Facebook post you’ll scroll past next week.
Do it. Enjoy it. And don’t feel not one way about it. Because at the end of the day, you can’t give them what you don’t have. Fill yourself just enough that you have some to pour out, but be sure to keep some for yourself. Never let the cup run dry. I would never do it, never in a million years, but I understand the exact moment that the lady we’ve all heard about on the news just walked away from it all and vanished. It’s a hard emotion to admit to. People will judge your love, your commitment, and possibly your sanity. But that lady was us. And her cup ran dry. Don’t be her.
Love them enough, to love you too. Keep something in your cup.